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You’ve probably come across the term ‘girl boss’. Maybe you’re more familiar with boss babe or lady boss? Born in the mid-2010s, founder of fast-fashion brand Nasty Gal and #GirlBoss author Sophia Amurso popularised the term, which made its way everywhere in adverts, emblazoned across notebooks and printed on T-shirts. You know, feminism, but make it capitalist. Long before the hollow empowerment of girlboss culture in the west, there has always been a Cantonese phrase that’s knocking about. One that properly reflects the reality of being a working woman in the east: si tau por.
你可能見過「女波士」（girl boss）這個詞，或者對「boss babe」和「lady boss」更加熟悉。正是Sophia Amurso 令這個詞流行起來——她在2010年代中創立快時尚品牌 Nasty Gal ，打出 #GirlBoss 的標籤。它在廣告中無處不在，被做成筆記簿的紋章，被印在T恤上。你懂的，女性主義，但擁抱著資本主義的那種。早在西方對「girlboss」文化有著虛空的賦權之前，就一直有一個粵語詞彙，恰當反映了東方職業女性的現實：事頭婆。

Meaning lady boss or proprietress. It’s an aspirational and realistic phrase for successful women who is both feared and loved at the same time. A si tau por won’t take anybody else’s shit because she’s seen it all and experienced hardships to get to where she is, but it’s not a way of framing financial success and consumerism as goodness. It differs from the version of female success being peddled by girlboss culture that is sexist.
它的意思是女老闆或老闆娘。對於成功女性來說，這是一個充滿抱負和現實的詞彙。事頭婆任何時候都不會忍氣吞聲，因為同時受人恐懼和喜愛的她已經經歷了種種艱辛，见過一切，才擁有現在的狀態。與「girlboss」文化所販賣的成功女性文化不同，它不帶有性別歧視的意味，亦並不將財務成功和消費主義當做好事。

For chef-owner of Poon’s London and Wontoneria pop-up, Amy Poon grew up working alongside her parents, watching them work the woks and serving customers at her family’s legendary Chinese restaurants in London Chinatown in the ‘70s. The phrase reminds her of her own mother who would command men, women and children around her at her will.
Amy Poon是餐廳Poon's London和雲吞快閃店Wontoneria的大廚和老闆。自70 年代起，她就在家裡的中餐廳為父母幫手，自小看著父母翻動炒鍋、服務客人，將位於倫敦唐人街的生意打出名堂。「事頭婆」一詞令她想起了她阿媽——她會隨心所欲地指揮周圍的男人、女人和孩子。

“She’s bossy and punchy –– you definitely know she’s there,” Poon laughs. “The problem with girlboss is that it’s trying to be edgy, but in fact, it’s belittling and a complete disservice. You don’t call male workers ‘boyboss’, they’re just the boss. Whereas with si tau por it’s in a similar vein of hardworking women at the top, but it’s more about maturity, being serious and meaning business.”
「她專制又霸道——你一定知道佢喺度，」Poon笑著說。「『girlboss』嘅問題在於佢想要變得好前衛，但實際上，呢個係一種貶低同埋完全嘅傷害。你唔會叫男老細為『boyboss』，佢哋就係『boss』。而事頭婆唔單只係上層勤力嘅女性，佢更多係關於成熟、認真同有意義嘅事業。」

When I cast my mind on who would fit the label. I think of the strong, independent women in my life. My mother who escaped the Cultural Revolution, one of China’s bloodiest eras at the age of twelve and started a new life in another country. She was the real brains behind our family Chinese takeaway business in Wales while looking after me and my brothers. Mary, who ran our local Chinese restaurant. Whenever we came in for our weekly dim sum she would run a tight ship at her 250-seater banquet hall flawlessly and my old Chinese school headteacher Wendy. A divorcee, who braced scornful comments from the community, but managed to rally together and teach the next generation of young British Chinese students. What all these women have in common is that these women in leadership roles embody the overall attitude of women being able to do anything, against all odds.
在想誰適合這個標籤時，我在記憶中尋找我人生中堅強獨立的女性。我阿媽，十二歲那年她逃過了中國最血腥的時代——文化大革命，在英國威爾士開始新的生活，在照顧我和我的兄弟的同時，她亦是我們家中餐外賣生意背後的掌門人；瑪麗，她在當地開了一間中餐廳，每個禮拜我們來吃點心時，都能看到這個250人的宴會廳被她打理得井井有條，完美無瑕；還有我中文學校的老校長溫蒂，一個離婚的人，儘管社區有人對她頗有微詞，但她想方設法聚集當地的中國學生，悉心教育下一代。所有這些擔任領導角色的女性，都體現了女性能夠克服一切困難，完成所有她們想做的事情。

“Staff, friends and family used to call me si tau por all the time, but it was used as a term of endearment and understanding rather than mean-spirited,” says Christine Yau MBE, chairman of Chinese Community Centre and previous owner of the long-standing Cantonese restaurant Y Ming in London Chinatown that’s been opened since 1986. “Whenever you hear that phrase from people in the local community using it you can’t help but perk up your ears and smile.”
「員工、朋友同屋企人以前一直叫我事頭婆，但佢係用來表達親切同理解，而唔係刻薄嘅講法，」Christine Yau MBE 說。她是華人社區中心主席，也是1986年開業的倫敦唐人街老字號粵菜館 Y Ming的前任老闆。「每次社區有人嗌呢句，我都會豎起耳仔，忍唔住笑。」

There’s a long history of East and South East Asian female figures in TV and film portrayed as the si tau por, dai ga cher (big sister) and dragon lady. The dai ga cher and dragon lady is a fierce, cruel Asian broad, and sometimes she’s even out to kill. They differ slightly in meaning, but have similar overlapping characteristics and qualities and are often inextricably used.
在電視和電影中，東亞和東南亞女性好長一段時間都被描繪成事頭婆、大家姐和老虎乸（Dragon Lady）的形象。大家姐和老虎乸是兇猛、殘忍的亞洲野蠻人，有時甚至可以殺人。這幾個詞在含義上略有不同，但具有相似的特徵，並且經常聯繫在一起使用。

Take the trailblazing actress Anna May Wong for example, she was the first Asian-American Hollywood actress in the 1920s and was tired of being typecast as wilting butterflies that were submissive and hypersexualised romantic interests and steely dragon ladies. Later on, Lucy Liu and Michelle Yeoh, some of Hollywood’s biggest East Asian stars in the 90s and 00s, had to fight sexualisation while bringing more than one dimensional stereotype character to their roles. For Yeoh, In Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, she brought warmth and tenderness to her ferocious wuxia fighter Yu Shu Lien. Slowly changing the narrative that plagued Anna May Wong all those years ago.
以具有開拓性意義女演員黃柳霜為例，她是1920年代第一位美國亞裔荷里活女演員。她厭倦了一直飾演像悲情的蝴蝶夫人這樣的順從形象，又或者是充滿情慾的舞女和奸詐冷漠的老虎乸。後來，90年代和00年代荷里活最出名的東亞女星劉玉玲和楊紫瓊不得不與這樣的單一形象作鬥爭，努力打破角色裡的刻板印象。對楊紫瓊而言，在《臥虎藏龍》中，她為飾演的英勇女俠俞秀蓮注入了溫暖和柔情，慢慢改變了多年前困擾黃柳霜的中國女性敘事和形象。

“Away from the cold, crafty, domineering, mysterious and gang-related elements, there is still quite a lot of nurturing within these terms,” Poon explains. “It’s not about being blood-related, but it feeds into the matriarchal society that people don't always associate with the Chinese.”
「拋開冷酷、狡猾、霸道、神秘、幫派嘅因素，呢啲詞彙都有唔少人情味，」Poon解釋說。「呢個同血緣無關，但佢的確係融入咗中國嘅母權制度，雖然很少人會將母權制度同中國人聯繫起來。」

No one knows for sure where or when the si tau por phrase was coined. Pop culture plays a huge part, but some say the origin story derived from royalty and Queen Elizabeth II. When Hong Kong was ceded to the British for 156 years many locals would nickname the queen as the boss.
沒有人確切知道「事頭婆」是在何時何地被創造出來的。流行文化對它的興起起了重要作用，但它的源頭似乎來自英國女王伊麗莎白二世。當時香港被割讓給英國156年，許多香港人戲稱女王為老闆。

“Technically, the Queen is the si tau por because she is the one ruling over several countries, head of the state and commander-in-chief,” Yau explains. “Whether it’s an empire, a big corporation or a small neighbourhood market stall, it applies to any woman that has authority over anyone or a business.”
「女王的確係事頭婆，因為佢係幾個國家嘅統治者、國家元首同總司令，」Yau解釋道。「無論是帝國、大公司定係小型社區嘅市場攤檔，對任何人或企業擁有權威嘅女性都係事頭婆。」

There are negative connotations tied up with this phrase such as being angry, loud and impatient, but that boils down to an individual’s character and behaviour. But, despite the bossy, hardened and scary façade, a si tau por is a big softie underneath the steely exterior. A heartwarming, caring and loving older woman in her 40s and older, that always went out of her way to help and protect those closest to her.
這個詞彙有一些負面聯想，譬如怒氣、大聲和不耐煩，但最終還是取決於個人的為人和處事。儘管外表專橫、強硬和可怕，事頭婆在鋼鐵般冰冷的外表下有一顆柔軟的心，她的形象是一位40幾歲、熱心腸、體貼和充滿愛心的女人，總是不遺餘力幫助和保護最親近的人。

“I wonder if it’s become a slightly anachronistic phrase and it’s time to rewrite the rules. In my mother’s generation, you had to have one strong person to lead and it was about the brave few that broke away to fight for their voice and their corner,” Poon says. “Whereas now, it’s changing. People are more connected, learning and growing more powerful together rather than going at it alone – there’s space for everyone to be the strong boss and not necessarily a boss that’s tied up in feminism.”
「我喺度諗它係唔係已經變得有啲不合時宜，依家係唔係要重寫規則了。喺我阿媽呢一代，總需要有一個強人出頭，呢啲勇敢嘅少數人為自己嘅聲音同事業而戰，」Poon說。「不過依家不同了。人同人嘅聯繫更加緊密，大家一起學習，一起成長，變得更加強大，唔再係單打獨鬥——每個人都可以成為強大嘅老細，唔一定要同女性主義相關。」

Ultimately, si tau por comes from a place of love and affection of the person in charge of the establishment. As you would with a boss man at a kebab shop, the man behind the counter serving you at the corner shop or the CEO of a multimillion-pound company, there is always a si tau por, and really, she’s the one that calls the shots, making it happen.
可以說，事頭婆是那個掌門人，也是為那個地方帶來愛與關懷的人。就如同街角燒味舖櫃檯後的老闆，或者是一間市值數百萬英鎊的公司CEO，總有一個事頭婆，是的，她就是那個發號施令，讓一切發生的人。